Days of the year
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Well, this is unexpected
Sunday. 11.6.16 10:17 am
I'm not sure what I thought pregnancy would be like but I'm positive I didn't think it'd be this freaking scary.
I swing back and forth between "I don't think I can do this" and "please God; don't let me die".
So far I'm at zero percent on the excited scale and that's kinda worrisome. Then again; I've just been throwing up and peeing all day so as of now I feel like I have the flu more than pregnant.
They tell me the excitement will come. I hope they're right.
Thursday. 10.20.16 7:45 pm
i have such a love hate relationship with people. I'm very fire and ice when it comes to sharing my time with friends, families and acquaintances. This makes Facebook very difficult for me. For a while there it was awesome. I kept up with old friends and milestones in their lives, we shared heartbreaks, upheavals and changes of all kinds to be met with a community who at least pretended to like us. Now; Facebook has caused me to lose friends, strain relationships with family members and provides a deep, dark and dank hole I sometimes throw myself down with unwanted news, opinions and snide comments. People I had respect for I can no longer bear to be around, people I might have been friends with? Not likely. Remember in middle school taking a chance and sitting next to a random person you hopes you might have something in common with? I mean, it didn't do anything to my social anxiety I liked but it at least had integrity.
I'm just ranting.
In other news; Elessar and I will have been married for one full year next week. Kinda crazy/awesome. In other, other news I'm pregnant. Talk about throwing me for a loop. Awesome? Yeah, ok it kinda is. Scary? Like you wouldn't believe. He's CRAZY excited and while I think I will be.... I'm not yet. Which, is disappointing. I see all these uber moms who have their lives all together and I'm over here eating cookies for dinner because I forgot to grocery shopping. 🙄 Mom says being pregnant was the happiest time of her life. So far I've just had morning sickness and an overwhelming fear of dying while I'm giving birth. Did I mention? It's twins.
Be well, Nutang.
Friday. 8.12.16 1:22 am
Wednesday. 7.27.16 5:43 pm
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