Silence.

It's the only way to describe my head right now. Which, for me is saying alot since i'm usually trapt in my own version of Neverland.

These past two months have been, without a doubt the most intense....so far.... in a long long (if ever) while.

I'm thrown and i'm excited and i'm on my butt but i'm looking at the sky. Ok, so I know that made no sense at all so, let's let my mind wander eh?

First off, the apartment - not going to happen. Why? Different reasons I suppose. I had been planning on moving in with my best friend so it'd be cheap, we'd help each other and blah, blah blah. It seemed like a good idea. Then word got around. "But she's a girl" and "what are you thinking?!". Of course, none of these things mentioned to me at all. They went up to him and tried to talk him out of it, for MY sake. It was frustrating and aggrivating. All I wanted to do was to save money and have a place of my own again. A place I wouldn't have to haunt. It felt like they were trying to take away my happy. So, I got angry. Then I calmed down and actually listened to what they were saying, why they were saying it, and the various other reasons behind it. In the end, i'm still leaving. It'll take longer, but it'll happen. It'll be a place of my own and that - in the long run will probably be for the best. I guess. It's what thrills me sort of. Moving the thought around my mind, tasting it's various flavors. Where will it be? When will I be there? Will I be happy? Will I be lonely? Will Jaden (my beloved cat) like it? Will I have enough money? Will I be able to save sufficently? It's enough to make you dizzy. In the long run - it might be best for everyone.

Secondly, I had the rug pulled out from under me again. Again, again, again. Always again. See, this thing that I thought was NEVA gonna happen...sorta happened. And, it's confusing. So much so that I a) don't really believe it happened and b) don't wanna thinking about it. It's.....well, there's no word for it yet. But, I guess if something's so out there that you can't even really believe it...well, that just goes to show you what it is, doesn't it? Do I ever make any sense?

My mom might have to go to the hospital.
She works with Autistic (sp?) children ages 3-6. One of them bit her on the fleshy part of her hand (right where your thumb is?). It got infected. She went to the doctor and he put her on INCREDIBLY heavy antibiotics. If it doesn't go down by tomorrow morning then she has to go to the hospital. If it's bad enough she could lose her hand. It's her right one and she's right handed. She's scared and so am I. Hopefully it's not that big a deal and she'll be there with enough time for the doctors to do their thing. I've been praying for her since I found out.
Poor mom.

Halloween is quickly approaching and I don't have a costume.

people need to mind their own damn business...

I hope your mom will be okay. That's so scary!!
» foolishgames on 2008-10-09 10:09:10

err... if u r in asian country, then it's not advisable for a girl and a boy to stay together if more than that, it's ok. but if u r fine and ur friend is fine .. and the motive is to be cheaper... i don't see why not.

yea.. i also want to be rich. sick and tired of always have to think if i have enough money to survive tomorrow. i wonder when am i gonna be free from that shackles...
» renaye on 2008-10-10 02:46:17

Hmmm...
How amusing...

A random person on commenting on someone else's blog mentioning how "people NEED to ming their OWN damn business".

I'm just glad to know that she was part of this entry.
» elessar257 on 2008-10-10 04:10:32

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